we're all mad here!

a taste of summer in winter

Happy Valentine's Day!

I finally got to the grocery store! I know this sounds silly to some of you, but I've been sick for over two weeks, and with my car out sick too it's become a challenge to get there at all. One of the reasons I'm so excited is that I've been dying to make some Summer Risotto for Larry, and because I've really been missing my breakfast tomatoes & basil with olive oil. This is a recipe that I adapted from a 2002 issue of Organic Style - Johne Thorne's Italian rice Tossed with Tomatoes and Fresh Mozzarella. I think Summer Risotto is easier to remember, and since I've tweaked it to my own liking, I'm going to be a rebel and give it my own name.

SUMMER RISOTTO - serves 3

• 1 cup risotto rice
• 2 cups water
• 1 tbl. butter
• 1 tbl. fresh squeezed lemon juice
• 2 tbl. olive oil
• 2 garlic cloves - minced
• 1 small yellow onion - minced
• 7 fresh basil leaves
• 2 tsp. balsamic vinegar
• 1 tsp. McCormick Monterry seasoning
• dash Lawry's garlic salt
• 1/2 container Sanitas or grape tomatoes - cut in half
• 3 spoonfuls pearl mozarella

1. Bring your 2 cups of water to a boil.
   +    1 cup risotto rice
   +    1 tbl. butter
2. Cover - reduce to simmer for 16 minutes
3. Add olive oil to a large saute pan & heat over med while you mince the garlic & onions
   +    garlic & onions
4. Saute until translucent & starting to brown 
5. Turn heat in saute pan down to low
   +    tomato halves 
   +    balsamic vinegar
6. At this point your risotto should be cooked - turn it into your saute pan & stir contents
7. Tear up the basil leaves & toss them in the pan
   +    garlic salt
   +    Monterry seasoning
8. Dish up and add a spoonful of the fresh mozarella pearls to each dish
9. Stir & fill yer belly!

 I've been busing sewing this amazing log cabin <3 pillow for CreateMixedMedia: 

I'll post the link and details of this fabu How To and Give Away as soon as I get them! Here's the loot one lucky reader will win:

The biggest, and best news for me is that I finally made a spot in my studio completely dedicated to painting, and creating mixed media. I'm getting ready to take Mindy Lacefield's Paint Your Story class soon, and I wanted to create a space where I could keep my paints out without worrying about them getting on my fabric. I found the cutest little conductor's stand down the street at the Maple Street Market - our towns nifty little antique store. It has a door on the front that opens up to shelves meant to hold sheet music, and it turns out it's exactly the right height to hold all my Liquitex paints. PLUS it's the perfect height so I don't have to hunch over and kill my back! {can you tell I'm excited?} So, for the rest of the week you can find me over by the window in my studio painting, and glueing away. What are you creating this week in your life?

NOW GO MAKE ART!

be nice

I came across this print on Pinterest yesterday, and it's had me thinking non-stop ever since:

One of the things my mother always hammered home to us as girls was to be nice to others. To treat others as we'd like to be treated in return. I took this VERY seriously as a child, and feel even stronger about it now that I am 40. What I still struggle with is why, if we want others to treat us nice, won't we be nice to ourselves first? This concept is one of the main points I've come away with since meeting Melody, and becoming a Brave Girl. You have to BE NICE to YOURSELF if you ever hope to live a full and happy life. And let's be honest, how are you REALLY going to be nice to others if you can't even manage it for yourself? It's hard sometimes, but I've found that the easiest way to be nice to myself is by doing the things I know I'm supposed to be doing. When I don't do the simple things I'm supposed to be doing every day: tidying up the house - doing laundry so everyone has clothes to wear - going grocery shopping - cooking diner - finding time for myself & my art - trying to meet my deadlines; I in turn get VERY hard on myself. I go off into that holding pattern of beating myself up until in the end I feel worse than I did when I started.

Now, the real excercise in being nice to ourselves comes when we CAN'T do the things we know we are supposed to. Say when we are ill or injured. Last week, I came down with a horrible cold, and was stuck on the couch for 4 days. During that time, all those things had to sit undone, but instead of beating myself up for not doing them, I tried to reassure my inner voice that it was okay to cut myself some slack. It was easy at first because I was way too sick to even care, but as I started to feel better I could hear that voice start to pipe up that things weren't getting done, and I was letting the family/myself/my commitments down. Now, Larry is amazing in these situations because he doesn't cut me slack unless it's truly deserved. He reminded me gently & then more urgently that if I didn't continue to rest I was just going to end up being sick three times as long. I knew in my heart he was right, but my brain kept insisting I needed to get it together. This is where I have to really work at shushing my inner critic, and go with what I know to be true ... and it does get easier with practice and repetition.

So ... be nice to each other, but most of all remember to be nice to yourself. 

NOW GO MAKE ART!

my ipad must haves

I had the pleasure of a catch-up call with my friend, Cathy Gaubert,  yesterday, and she gave me the best idea for a blog post. She got an ipad for Christmas, and was asking me what I use to edit my photos. I've been a photoshop girl for, man, almost 15 years now, and in my opinion nothing else even comes close. Well, she's never used photoshop ever, and the learning curve is REALLY steep. My solution for her was to get the Photoshop Express app for her ipad, and edit there. This conversation stirred up the pot for this post wonderfully. Larry and the kids bought me an ipad for my birthday last year, and I've spent a lot of time [and moolah] trying to find the best apps for artists/writers/crafters. So, here's my MUST HAVE apps - all the ones I keep on my front page for easy access:

FOR THE ARTIST:

• photoshop express - this is a dumbed down/FREE version of their popular program, but don't let the fact that it's free deter you. You can do all the basic editing stuff, and quite a few nifty things with this app including change the exposure style & add borders.
• reel director - $1.99 -  I love this app for editing movies on the fly. This is a great little program for turning your filmed How To's into fabulously edited videos. I like this program as much as imovie, and again, you can't beat the cost.
• art set - 99 cents - Jules loves this app because it has all your favorite mediums to choose from including oil paints & pastels / wax crayons / colored pencils / markers. It has a slew of blending tools and different paper textures to choose from.
• sketchbook pro - $9.99 { I think - you cannot see the price once you buy it } This is one of the few apps I've been willing to pay over $4.99 for. There is a FREE express version of this one as well, so check it out before you shell out your moolah.
• palettes - FREE - I love this app for finding color combination and pulling colors from photos. There is a BASIC & PRO version of this program, but I've found the free version works just fine for me so far.

FOR THE WRITER:

• pages - $9.99 - This is the only other app I've paid this much for, but being able to edit my articles on the road was one of the main buying points for me. I love being able to edit or write on the fly!
• story tracker - LITE - This is a tool for tracking your story/article submissions from idea to print. I don't use this as much as I should, but I'm trying to use it more this year to keep track of what I'm writing/submitting.
• phraseology - $3.99 - I just bought this app over vacation, and haven't used it yet. "Part text editor, part word processor, phraseology is a simply enviro focused app to make it enjoyable & productive to write on the ipad." I'll let you know more when I use it :)
• anote - $3.99 or LITE - A color coded post-it note style app. I use this to keep reminders of ideas that are still only seeds, things I need to do for the family, looming deadlines, and TO DO lists. I love that it's color coded and tabbed, which both make it really quick to find notes.

FOR THE CRAFTER:

• flickstackr - $1.99 - There is a free app directly from flickr, but I really love the layout and navigation in this app. If you use and love flickr like I do to keep track of your online exchanges, you gotta get this one!
  
• kindle - FREE - One of our passions as crafters is buying books to learn new techniques. All the new crafting books are coming out in Kindle editions, and you easily see them a page at a time in your studio with this fabulous app. You don't even have to weigh the pages down!
• pandora radio - FREE - I know what you're thinking, "What in the world does Pandora have to do with crafting?" We all need some music to stir our imagination pot, and keep us company, don't we?!
• mollie makes - $6.99/issue - This is the one magazine I can't do without - it's almost as if it were written just for me. If you haven't checked out Mollie Makes yet, what are you waiting for? There is also a digital subscription for around twenty dollars.
• cloth paper scissors - $7.99/issue - CPS is currently my favorite magazine to write for, but they have other selections for the sewer & knitter as well. 
• jknit HD - PRO & LITE - I'm convinced this app was written with the absent minded knitter in mind. I can write my own patterns, and save them with the PRO version. You can also search for specific patterns, and download them right into the program. It also has a BIG visual counter with row instructions to keep you on track.
• knitionary - $1.99 - This is a great app for the experimental knitter. It is a visual dictionary of stitches, so you not only get the formula to knit it, but know what it should look like too.

And there you have it :) There are lots of other apps I use all the time, but right now these are the ones I find most useful and that I use over and over again. If there is an app you just can't live without I would love to know what it is! Has anyone found a great app for writing sewing patterns? I haven't looked because I don't usually use them, but it would be nice to be able to keep track of the ones I come up with w/o having to read through a bunch of doc files!

NOW GO MAKE ART!

getting back on the horse

Hello 2012!
Today is the Chinese New Year - Year of the Dragon, and I've been starting out the new year finally working on a new blog post. It's a quiet Monday night, with Larry at Pool, and Jules volunteering at the Concessions for Buddy Basketball. I've been itching to get back to blogging, but REALLY having a hard time getting started. I wonder if part of it is because I fear it will be the end of this wonderful hibernation I've been wallowing in? I've loved the quiet, the time to journal and think, being home and not so much online ... but I feel it's time to poke my nose out of my cave and get back to doing what I love to do. Now, there's part of the problem too ... ever since finishing up my book { Mixed and Stitched } I've had a hard time pinpointing exactly what it is I want to do next.

Every year when my birthday rolls around, I find myself getting really introspective about where I've been and where I'd like to go. Part of this process is taking a break from the online world to focus more of my time and energy towards my family and home during the holidays. The hard part comes when it's time to get back to being online, and blogging more consistently. There is something about taking that break that really makes you want to stay in that offline place.

I spend a lot of that time journaling about what it is I love to do now, because as we evolve as artists, so too does our interests and dreams. What happens when we achieve our dreams? How do we decide on new ones and what's next?

After you've put in all that hard work - how do you re-ignite that fire and passion for something new? This is uncharted teritory for me ... and I find myself wandering around restless in search of that new thing that will having me charing off to conquer it. Are you diggin' me?

I'm slowly starting to see a glimmer of what's next with the help of those I love and the advice of fellow artists I admire. I think that's a whole nother post tho, so I'm going to skip back a bit and tell you about my winter adventures while I was away.

One of the silliest and most awesome things I did this winter was learn how to make my own pickles! You can find the recipe I used here:

MIXED PICKLED VEGIES

I used apple cider vinegar & a little less kosher salt than called for - left out the cinnamon stick - Holly & I pickled asperagus / green beans / cucumbers and they were SO EASY and completely AMAZING! Everyone loved them, and I'm not kidding you when I say it took all of about 1/2 hour including cutting up all the veggies. If you are a lover of pickles, I HIGHLY recommend this recipe! 

I bought a packet for Bread & Butter pickles [per Jake's request], and I'm going to make a few jars that are just green beans { my absolute fav! }. I'm curious if you tried anything new over the holidays, and if so, did you blog about it? Please leave your link in the comments section so we can all take a peek!

And now I think I've rambled on enough ... not too shabby for a month sabatical from blogging. Tomorrow, I'll write a little bit about my Christmas vacation in Las Vegas, and my word & quote for the New Year.

NOW GO MAKE ART!

snuggled in for the holidays

December is one of my favorite months for a multitude of reasons - the best being my birthday is the 7th and I love my birthday. I love birthdays in general and go out of my way to make them special, but I love having that one special day out of the year that is all about me. {important when you are a pleaser} Second would be my kids are off school for a couple weeks, and we all have a good time hanging out together. On the tail of that is getting to spend time with my family. Whether my sister's family comes here to us or we go out to her, it's always been a time when my family comes together to catch up and celebrate. Last, but certainly not least is the start of a new year - both for me age wise and on the calendar.

Everything I write comes from my childhood in one way or another. I am forever drawing on the sense of mystery and wonder and possibility that pervaded that time of my life.
+ Kate DiCamillo +

I also do a lot of drawing in the winter, and it's made me so happy to see my drawing skills improve this past year. I put my mind to making sure I was drawing at least a couple times a week, and I can definitely tell a difference. I found this incredible children's book, The Poppyseed Cakes, when I was in Camas last month, and it became the perfect inspiration last week when I was trying to find something different to do. I'm on drawing number 5 of a five day run, and intend to continue on until the pages are all gone. I open the book to a random page, and read the text. I use the text as a prompt for the drawing, and hop off to the internet to find a quote that matches my drawing. My goal is to continue improving my drawing skills while producing something fun for my etsy shop.

It is only by drawing often, drawing everything, drawing incessantly, that one fine day you discover to your surprise that you have rendered something in its true character.
+ Camille Pissarro +

So anyways, on to the meat of this post - my thoughts on creating perfect holidays. Now, generally I go all out for the holidays; figurines / ornaments / candles / wall hanging / flowers / lights ... you get my point. Well, this year we decided to simplify things A LOT, and our mantra this season is:

DON'T WORRY IF IT'S NOT PERFECT - JUST ENJOY IT WITH ALL YOUR HEART

You see, last year I ran around like a crazy woman making everything as perfect as possible, and then Larry lost both his sister and father on either side of Christmas, along with a whole lot of other chaotic events, and things got totally skewed and out of hand despite my best efforts. The result is that I didn't really enjoy the holidays much last year which is VERY unusual for me. I LOVE the holidays, and all the cooking and decorating that goes along with celebrating them, so this was a huge knock down last year. This year, I started feeling those panicy "things aren't going to be just right"  jitters right before Halloween, and it threatened to send me spinning out of control. Larry, in response dug in, and declared that he wasn't participating in any of the madness this year ... period ... end of discussion. Well, in true Jennifer form, I dug right in myself and started up with the badgering and protests of why my way is better. Did I get anywhere? What do you think :)

No one is perfect... that's why pencils have erasers. 
+ Author Unknown +

 This is the look I get when I'm trying to do something we both know is ridiculous and unrealistic: 

After about 15 minutes of pouting and stomping my feet, I mulled over his very good points, and decided that I wasn't going to participate in the craziness this year either. You see, we leave for Vegas on the 23rd so the Christmas tree has to be down & out so we're still not trying to get needles out of the carpet in July.  We went and got a little tree that is shorting than me, and it only has my snowflake lights on it ... no ornaments this year - but it's all good :) There's also not craziness to drag out or put away as we try to get out of town to be with our family. This has left me so much more time to make gifts, and draw, and read, and do the things I love - starting to get the bigger picture? 

So, I'll leave you with thoughts on simplifying, and taking things down to the bare bones of what you really enjoy this holiday season, as I'm off to sew and stitch up wonderful things in my studio.

NOW GO MAKE ART!

love train - a GIVE AWAY

I'm having one of those moments ... that feeling you've got something important to do. That KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!ing that makes your heart start to race a little bit. I'm getting one of those "feelings" I'm doing what I'm supposed to be right this very minute. Do you ever have that happen, and not act then wish you had? I don't want this feeling to turn into one of those, so I'm going to "act now while supplies last", and follow my gut.

Today started out pretty good, and has continued to get better and better as time ticks by. There's some mojo stirring itself up over here folks, and I REALLY want to share it and pass it on to YOU.

Yes, YOU!

You sitting right there hoping it's you, but maybe feeling too nervous or anxious or maybe even a little afraid that it is YOU to even try and join in. Are you ready to make a difference in someone else's day? Are you ready to get this love movin' all over the globe? Don't you dare tell me we can't cause I know better!

We're going to get a love train going my peeps, and see how far we can spread the love. Are you up for the adventure? Are you game? Here's all you have to do:

• give something away on your blog or flickr or tumblr or wherever ... whatever you use to share with your peeps

AND

• post a link to it right here on this very blog post
   

That's it :) I don't care what you give away - it can be art ... time ... product ... a service ... something sewn or handmade ... a polka dot elephant wearing tights - the what, my friends, is up to you.  The point is to take a moment to stop the talking, and take a smidgen of your precious time to do the walking. It's time to put all that lip service - all the "I wanna"s & the "I should just", and actually DO. My husband is a HUGE supporter of the "don't tell me - show me" way of living your life. The plain truth is that actions speak a million times louder than words. Always.

So, here's what I'm giving to one of you - my owls & fireflies pillowcase. It's 16 x 16 inches and has an apple green zipper in the bottom so you can take your pillow out and wash the case if it gets dirty. I've been deciding what to do with it for months, and I think this is exactly the right thing! It's quilted on both sides, and comes from a smoke free home :) I'll also throw in some extra goodies tailored just for you. I'm also going to pick one more person in private to pass something else on to that is more personal, because I've got the feeling I need/want/should do that, too because that is how it has been given to me all day.

Here's the fine print:

• I will choose the winner at random by using a number genorator
• You have between now and 3 pm EST on Friday to post the link to your Give Away.
• You do not need to live in the USA to win this Give Away or host your own
• You must send me your address by next Wednesday - 10/5 or I choose a new winner
  {I have a problem mailing things out & don't want to wait or forget.} 

One of the things I stumbled upon today, that I've talked about in the past is Tiny Buddha. Well, here is today's quote:

A hero is a man who does what he can.
+Romain Rolland+

So, let's all do what we can today, and be the hero in someone else's day! As my friend Melody likes to say, "You never know when you might be exactly what someone else needs at exactly the right moment!" and I agree wholeheartedly!

NOW GO PASS ON THE LOVE!

nightmares and wrinkles and fears

OH MY!

So, I'm kinda over the heavy posts this week, and thought it was about time I got back to the lighter side for a bit. This post is kinda jumpy, and I've tried to figure out how to transition better, but this is the way I think, so deal with it :)

A couple posts ago I was talking about reality versus perception, and wanted to touch on it again for just a minute today. On the left you can see a photo I took of my studio yesterday. Ugh! It's transmogrified back from it's pristine photoshoot tidiness to what it generally looks like most of the time. If you picked up my book, and knew knothing real about me you might perceive that my studio was always that perfect picture of tidiness ready for art at a moments notice that the photos portray. The reality is that this is it folks - right now there is a HUGE pile of nerf guns blocking all my fabric, a pile of my current sewing projects on the floor where the kids dumped them when they needed my chair, and barely enough room on my workbench to make a sandwich let alone create something. Just out of frame you would still find my unpacked suitcase from Art Fest {yeah yeah ... I know that was back in April, thank you very much}, boxes of projects from my book, and whatever else the kids threw in there when they were asked to clean up the family room.

Don't I find it embarassing and uncomfortable to admit? Sure, but it's the truth, so I can either change it or accept it, right? I might not accept it 100% of the time, but more often than not, this is what you're going to find in there no matter how hard I try to hide and cover it up from everyone. It's gotten easier to just admit the truth. This does not in the least bit mean I've admitted defeat ... it just means that I'm coming to terms with the fact that my house is never going to look like the ones in Flea Market Style regardless of how hard I wish. I could try harder I suppose, but the truth is that I enjoy things like reading and making things too much to give over all my energy to the endless cleaning that level of perfectness requires!

Another thing I'm learning to come to terms with is turning 40, and the wrinkles that crop up around your eyes and mouth as a result. I was blessed with some pretty magical genes, and think I look pretty good for 40, but I'm not a huge fan of the wrinkles. I've tried creams, and ointment, and salves, and cucumbers, and anything else I can get my hands on, and I'm pretty sure they're staying put. Now, I can either start injecting my face full of all kinds of junk to smooth them out and trick everyone into thinking I'm younger, or I can just sigh and learn to live with them. Does that mean I have to love them? Yeah ... I don't see that ever happening, but I don't find myself wanting to hide in my room and cry over them either. It's just another one of those things that I've decided just is, and that's a great feeling. It feels good to be able to accept things we cannot really change. I am 40 after all, as well as having had two kids and a trashcan full of stress to cope with so far. It's just life :)

Listen folks, there's gonna be some wrinkles and stretch marks after all that growing that took place to get here, right?!

Last, but most certainly not least, is the nightmares. If I could write them all down and get them into the right hands I'm sure I'd be as rich and famous as Stephen King! I have spectacular, end of the world, zombies chasing me, rummaging through desolate buildings for food, running for your life nightmares, and have for as far back as I can remember. I'm pretty sure it's more a product of my fabulous imagination tinted with a touch of my anxiety than that there's something wrong upstairs, but who knows. Right now, I'm working on turning one of them into a short 5 panel drawing in my art journal, and am pretty excited about trying something new. I generally journal a page or two per idea, and spliting it up into smaller pictures is both challeging and exciting. One of the things I didn't really think through about entering the Artisan Search 2012 is that I have to mail my journals off to CPS for a whole year ... A WHOLE YEAR! So, I'm putting the finishing touches on my last few unfinished drawings, and then it will be on to making a new art journal. I'm a little sad that I have to send them off for so long, but really excited to come up with a fun journal making project to share with you here!

One last little thought before I log off to go read through my towering stack of magazines - make time to have lunch or dinner with a friend this week! I got to have lunch with Holly today, and I always feel better after we have one of our heart talks about life and kids. Her littlest is starting his school years just as mine is ending hers, and it's nice to share that experience with someone who is feeling similar about it all! I promise it will put life in perspective, and make your heart feel lighter!

NOW GO MAKE ART!

ring! ring!

I truly believe that when life rings you up, you need to wake up and take the call!

As you've heard me say before, I've been receiving Tiny Buddha newsletters in my inbox for awhile now. I go through little spurts where I will read them about once a weekish all the way to months of just deleting them without even a glance. It's kinda a mood thing I guess. Anyhoo, the last two weeks or so I've read three of them, and all three were things I REALLY needed to hear right now! Are you feelin' me? Ever have that happen ... where you're kinda floating through life when all of a sudden you hear this RING! RING! and realize it's life calling to tell you to listen up?

Well, these 3 tiny emails were things I had been struggling with lately ... one of them without even really realizing I was doing it until I read the message. Today's was kinda the icing on my listen up! cupcake:

Tiny Wisdom: Let Your Light Shine Bright

Sep 07, 2011 12:23 am | Lori Deschene

“As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” -Nelson Mandela

I've mentioned this already recently, but I've had this whispering worry about letting mine shine too bright in the past. I guess I worry it will seem too much like boasting or bragging, but there is also such a thing as not tooting your own horn loud enough. SO, I'm going to work on letting my light shine a little brighter, and not be so frightend of the commitments that MAY follow. I can always say no, can't I? {oh goodness ... something I'm terrible at}.

So, with that in mind, I'm tickled to announce that I made it to the 25 finalists {5 from each catagory} in Cloth Paper Scissors ARTISAN SEARCH 2012 in the Art Journaling & Bookmaking catagory!!! I really feel like once I get my journals into their hot little hands I stand a good chance of winning. 

Speaking of journaling here are 3 totally awesome things to journal about:

• What have you been holding back at in life?
• Are you letting your own light shine as bright as it can or are you hiding it under the proverbial bushel?
• What do you need to work on within yourself ... no finger pointing ... just admitting a need for work?

I love working through my dreams, goals, and personal areas of work in the pages of my journals. I use a lot of visual ques in my art journals, and don't do a whole lot of actual writing because I find I work and express myself better when I don't. My journal pages rely heavily on quotes, words, and my drawings. For a long time now they have been full of houses and homes because that's where I was feeling the need for the most focus and purging. My worries about all the trauma and chaos my family kept having to endure leaked out onto all the pages. There wasn't a lot of time or space to worry about anything else especially letting my light shine.

Another thing I love to include in my journals is lines and quotes from movies I'm watching while journaling. This is one of my favorites by far - it's delivered by Anthony Hopkins in Wolfman, to his son upon his untimely return to the family estate. It goes hand in hand with something my dad told me awhile back, "Don't ruin all your todays and tomorrows worrying about your yesterdays." That's not to say you shouldn't remember what you've done or even reflect on it now and again, but you can't stay mired there ... bogged down in the horribleness of the past. You can't change the past, you can only try to do better from today on. 1 single day at a time ... 1 single breath ... 1 single moment of loving someone special.

happy birthday Larry!
YOU are the icing on my cupcake of life :)

NOW GO MAKE ART! 

I choose the glass half-full, thankyoumuch!

There is this wonderful thing happening inside all my art girls ... an awesome and inspiring transformation! Lots of talk about what is REAL versus what is PERCEPTION in our daily lives or about the MYTH that happy people don't have problems (or somehow as if by magic their problems don't trouble them). From photos on facebook of our overflowing laundry piles to gory details about our messy lives on our blogs ... the truth is starting to trickle out drop by precious drop. Here's the secret truth folks:

EVERYONE has problems in their life! 
everyone
period 
exclamation point
the end 

I know when you are in the middle of big problems they are all encompassing, but sometimes lots of tiny bits of daily turmoil can coalesc and become the perfect storm just as easily. Happy people have simply come to terms with the fact that LIFE GOES ON regardless of whether you are ready for it or not. My theory is: you can either sit in the corner and cry or learn to shrug it off and try to find something humorous in your dilema to laugh about. Now, I understand this may sound silly or maybe even unrealistic, but I promise you it's not. Just look back at all the problems you've already faced ... did you rise to the occasion and conquer all of them with grace and splendor?

No?

Me neither, but I'm still here, and they have come and gone ... so the lesson is that life marches on with or without you. Do you want to cry and moan and stomp your feet on the sidewalk as life parades on past you OR do you want to pick up your instrument and join in?

I have zero control over some of my problems ... I can bang my head against the wall trying to change them or learn to look for ways of working through them. Which sometimes can be something as small as hosting game night for your family or friends. Cooking out and laughing at all the b.s. there is to put up with in life. Getting together for coffee talk, and most definitely helping each other get through these real, difficult, messy times on the phone or in person.

I love this Brave Girl's quote by my friend Melody: Motivation is when your dreams put on work cloths.

Take a moment to stop and really soak up this tiny little sentance. Getting through life - just like achieving your dreams - requires you to pull on your big girl panties and get a little dirty. Navigating the murky waters of life is dirty business my friends, but the rewards of living a REAL, messy life are endless! Your relationships with be so much better when you are honest about the problems you are having, and ask for help or guidance, your workdays will be tolerable, you may even decide you CAN suck it up and have lunch with your mother-in-law ... you get my point. 

Jenny Doh just wrote about choosing the burdens we bear in the latest CRESCENDOh newsletter. {You can sign up to receive it in your inbox here: CRESCENDOh .} She posted this quote at the begininning of her letter: "Freedom means choosing your burden." {Hephzibah Menuhin} I love this quote. It reminds me of my choice to ALWAYS put my family first ... something that Jenny and I talk about often. When I started publishing and writing almost 10 years ago {facepalm} I made the CHOICE to never put my art before my family. Am I amazing and awesome at doing this all the time? Nope ... and that's okay. Because I am most of the time so they let me slide when I get a little compulsive about writing, sewing, and making things.

It's so completely amazing to be loved and accepted for who you REALLY are instead of who you want people to think you are. REALITY VS. PERCEPTION I know your reality might be scary, and a burden, or just a downright incredible mess ... but if you quit hiding it away and trying to take care of it all yourself things will get so much better!

So, I've rambled on forever, but in case your eyeballs still have some juice left in them you can read more about REAL life over on some of my art girls blogs:

Melody Ross and her FB detox 

Jeanne Oliver's ART SAVES story

Lara Blair's confession @ being a soccer mom

Kolleen Harrison on her journey into healing thru art

This is only a smidgen of the wisdom out there ... but I wouldn't want your noodle to pop :)

NOW GO MAKE ART!

an irrational fear of success

I just love when life gifts you exactly what you need at the EXACT right moment!

Mine came today in the form of an email from tiny buddha about the Fear of Success. I have been spending a lot of time talking about this to my art girl circle, because it's a fear that runs so deep inside me. I could never really find the exact right words to describe my feelings, but Lori came so very close today :

"Success in any pursuit requires responsibility. At one point, I decided this was one thing I didn’t want. I didn’t want people to depend on me. I didn’t want to create conditions in my life that I needed to maintain with consistency, both in effort and earning.

I wanted the freedom to drop everything in a heartbeat so that I never had to feel trapped. This felt safe to me. If I never chose to rise too high, I’d never have to fall too far if I messed up; I’d never had to worry about disappointing anyone ..."

All these bolded purple parts are EXACTLY the feelings I have bouncing around inside my noodle when I wonder about being successful. Acknowleding a fear of success ... a fear that must seem so silly to most of you ... is really hard for me because everyone around me is so eager and excited for me to become successful. I'm sure in part because they think that's what I must really want too. It's a confusing feeling especially when you really look at your dreams and goals.

All of these steps I've been taking - publishing, writing, blogging, etc. all propell you on a course directly towards SUCCESS. I think that's part of this hiatus I've been taking from writing/blogging/FB. I just needed to hibernate for awhile in preperation for all this growing! All this though about the fear of success brings to mind a poem by Marianne Williamson:

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

I don't know about you, but I find myself truly inspired to shine my light as bright as possible without fear of success nor of failing when I read this poem. In the spirit of letting my light shine {and with a lot of reassurance from Larry}, I pulled on my big girl panties and entered Cloth Paper Scissors 2012 Artisan Search - Art Journaling & Bookmaking. I have been doing a ton of journaling lately, and am really excited to see if I can make the top 5 finalists! I know that if I can get my journals in their hot little hands I stand an honest chance of winning! 

I'm also writing an article for an upcoming issue of Sarah Fishburn & Angela Cartwright's Pasticcio Quartz zine, and it's something new and exciting for me. I recently started rolling my hair up in "rag" style rollers {really they are cloth with a foam & wire inside}, and I fell in love with Vera Neumann headkerchiefs over on Etsy! I love the Rat Rod look, and think it would be really fun to have a nice selection of vintage headkerchiefs to wrap around my rollered-up head when I have to leave home to run errands. I don't mind wearing them around the house, but I get a little funny about running around town .

a peek at what's to come:

+ Larry and I did a lot of talking about drinking during activities - he had a really insightful moment that I'm really looking forward to sharing with all of you tomorrow!

+ tomorrow is "what are U up to?" Wednesday's again finally!

NOW GO MAKE ART!

embracing the new normal

did'ja miss me?

I missed me! I went on a little self-imposed online hiatus these past couple months to tend to some LIFE, but it's been long enough now and it's time to poke my head out of the deep, dark forest I've been hiding away in. "What?! YOU... hidden away in the woods ... why that can't be! You're always so happy.", you say. Yep ... hiding out in my safe little ole cottage deep in the woods. Let's be honest here folks, even the most opptimistic of us goes through times of distress despite our sunny outlook on life. In fact, I'd even wager that those of us who make the CHOICE to be happy daily, crawl much deeper into that dark forest when the mood strikes. I think when we finally succomb to the "terrible, no good, very bad days" they are just a touch more troubling because we're accustomed to soldiering on regardless.

Well, the simple truth of the matter is that my husband has been battling alcoholism for the past 10 years, and this last horrendous year that our family has gone through simply got the better of him. He went on a little spiral of self-destruction that really came to a head these past two months. He's been sober for a little over two weeks now, and I couldn't be prouder or more in love with him than I am this very moment! (I'll write more next time on his recovery path} There is nothing worse than watching someone you love go through something like this. It breaks your heart in ways I can't even begin to describe here in words. I can only say that it makes you ache in places you cannot soothe despite how hard you try.

To many of you this may come as a complete shock ... to others it will finally make complete sense ... and to the few of you we've shared this with, I know my writing about it finally brings a sad smile to your face. I have chosen in the past not to talk about this, not because I was ashamed, but because I felt like it was private and really Larry's story to tell, not mine. But after going through this crazy horrible last year, I've decided that it's okay to talk about it here, and in fact may help some of you deal with what you and your family are going through right now. Because none of us are immune to this fact of life ... times can get tougher than you ever feared they might, and when you are in the middle of them, no one else's problems can compare in agony.

For a long time I ran around trying to keep a lid on the volcano that was Larry's drinking. I was for the most part very succesful in this role, but it was exhausting. After going to Brave Girl Camp last October, I decided that I couldn't do it any more. That I was too tired of running around cleaning up messes, and trying to keep everything under control. I'm only human after all, and it was time to hang up my Wonder Woman costume in exchange for a calmer, simpler life. 

Change is often painful, and the changes that took place in our family as a result of all this chaos were no exception. At the time I thought it felt like the most hateful, hurtful joke life could play on us. Now, I understand that all these terrible things needed to happen for us to get to this new peaceful normal that we are living. I also now understand that it's okay to share this part of my story with you ... if you choose to judge me for it that's on you ... not me, and I'm at a place where I'm okay with that too.  Because those of you that I've chosen to keep close to my heart through all of this understand ... you've been there yourself in your own way ... you've found your own new normal.

My friend Jeanne does this really awesome thing over on her blog where she lets her reader's ask questions, and writes about the answers in follow-up posts. So, I'm going to offer you the same opportunity - you can ask me about my art & process / you can ask me about how I achieve certain techniques / you can ask me about living with an alcoholic / you can pretty much ask me anything. In return, I'll respond in some fun and creative ways - with videos / with artwork / with patterns ... you get the idea. You can send your questions to:

themessynest@me.com
subject line: questions - round 1

I promise to keep all of you safe & secret in my replies so no worries if you are still hiding your truths and stories away safe in your pocket! I guess in the end, my hope for you is that you finally embrace your own new normal - or work to make it happen, that you don't cringe at the thought of sharing the secretmost parts of your story or life. Just know that I totally believe in you, and you are so very very loved!

NEXT POST GLIMPS:
 
I'll be writing a tutorial
for my Sea Glass doll quilt :)

 NOW GO MAKE ART!